So, it's been a while. Not much has happened. Well, I mean, before coming home.
The only notable things I can think of are being unproductive on Sunday, and then Chemistry Thanksgiving celebration plus productivity on Tuesday. So, Saturday, both Joy and I did stuff, as opposed to the usual sitting around in our room just watching tv. And as a consequence of this, we basically moved our usual Saturday schedule to Sunday. Which was supposed to be the productive day, so that was most unfortunate. But there was a lot of good stuff on tv! Like Home Alone 3! And then I don't even remember what happened on Monday. And then Tuesday, we had our Thanksgiving celebration plus quiz, which I got a 100 on by the way. But yeah, an impressive feat, handing out pie and ice cream to 500 students. Liquid nitrogen ice cream, ha. Laude had people go up and mix milk and sugar and then poured the liquid nitrogen to freeze it. And then let people blow up hydrogen balloons with wings, feet, and heads to make them look like turkeys. Fun stuff.

[IMAGE from chem - i still have to upload pics]

And then later that day I was very productive and swept, mopped, and dusted. I even organized my desk! And then did all my laundry while watching Hercules. It was awesome!
And blah, only had research methods earlier today. Could've gone home last night.
I didn't really realize until tonight how much I missed being home.
So, I'm just here now in the living room about to watch 30 Rock episodes on Tivo, but for now Christine's playing songs from the new Imogen Heap album. She bought a bundt cake from Corner Bakery on an impulse. And not just the baby bundts, a regular sized one lol.
I had to move Joseph from my parents' room to his bed, because my mom was watching him, so he fell asleep there. It was funny, as soon as I started to move him, he started "talking," meaning he kept saying random things, not actual words. But his own way of talking, and it was really funny. He's gotten so heavy now.
Imogen Heap has a really soothing voice that completes this feeling of home sickness that I just became aware of. Especially in this song that Christine's playing right now called, "Half Life."
My room is such a mess, because Christine's been dumping all her clothes in it, ha.
Earlier, Ashley picked me up from Mockingbird station, and then we went and had dinner with Kelly at Chip. And then over to Michael's house just to talk. I really miss things like that.
Also, came to the conclusion that I just want to be friends with Chris. I mean, it's been fun. And I gave him more of a chance. And I did realize that I like hanging out with him, but I think I'd rather just be friends. I mean, it's cool having a boyfriend, but I'm not feeling it. I've been thinking about it for the past week, and then coming home and being with people I really love made me more confident about the decision. I feel like myself again, and I'm excited.
I just wish I didn't have to go home to feel like myself again.
Oop, Liz Lemon time.

[IMAGE of random butterflies...they were everywhere!]

Woohoo, it's Thursday, and I don't have much to do. But Chris and I are hanging out right now. Kind of. Well, he actually has stuff to do, so I'm just tagging along, seeing as how I have virtually nothing to do. Well, tonight at least. I have to peer review someone's research project for research methods- and wow I just became aware of how loud it sounds when I type...We're in the computer lab at Welch and - ew! I just realized that this is a public computer lab, well I mean, yes I knew that already, but now that I actually think of it, I'm looking at the keys and they're all shiny from a lot of use. Gross. Anyway, I like this whole not having anything to do thing. Chris is doing chemistry on the computer, and I'm just looking through xkcd comics and maybe I'll move on to other webcomics after writing this.
But yeah, I've been meaning to update for a while, but I haven't really had time. Anyway, there's not anything all that notable to talk about apart from last weeked. Last Friday Chris and I watched this film at the Union called White on Rice, and it was really funny. It was about Asians, and I kind of want to watch it again. Also! Chris got me a necklace, like from one of those guys that sells random jewelry up on the Drag, and it's pretty and blue and I actually really like it. Anyway, after the movie, Chris felt like going to Target or something, because it's been a while since he's been to a retail store like that. So, even though it was odd request, we tried to figure out a bus route that would get us to a nearby Target. And we did, we got on the right bus, however we figured out that it would simply take too long for us to get there to be worth it, so we just got off at somewhere random. And then I was a bit exasperated because I had no idea where we were, and Chris said it reminded him of El Paso, because it was all ghetto. So, we walked around for a bit looking for a place to eat, and then we came upon the highway and I felt really happy because I knew where we were at that point. Looking down the highway we spotted a Chili's, so we headed over there, and it took a while, because well, we were walking. I am so grateful for my car. Seriously, it is the most frustrating thing to actually know where you are and where you want to go, but no means to get there. I could see the Frost tower from where we were, which meant downtown Austin. Thankfully, I had the bus map. So, we walked over to the Chili's, and there was a Macaroni Grill right beside it, so we went there instead, which made me happy, because that place reminds me of home because my mom loves it so much, and as a consequence we go there all the time.
After we left though, I was really frustrated, because it was past 11 pm, and most of the buses stop running by that time. So the only choice was the night owl bus line, which runs from 12:10 to 3 in the morning or something. And I kind of knew where the stop would be, because I had a bus map. But we went to check at a nearby Fiesta (going in there makes me feel super ghetto!), and asked the people if they knew where the bus stop was. They were really nice and helpful, and after walking for a bit (for a while in the wrong direction), we found the bus stop. Waiting for the bus was nice, because it was cold, and I really do love cold weather. And then finally the bus came, and I was just happy that we had a way back to downtown Austin, and it dropped us off near 6th street, and seriously, I was just bouncing up and down from happiness at that point, because I knew where we were and exactly how to get back to campus.
So, that was our bus adventure. Goodness.
Oh, and then Sunday, I played at a basketball game for the first time, and it really made me miss marching band. Football games are just so much more fun. Except it is a really cool thing to watch the guys dunk and shoot everything in one after another. So talented.
For some reason after that I was just soo tired and couldn't work on my research paper like I was supposed to. And that's basically what the earlier part of this week centered around: finishing that stupid paper. But Katie and I did it. Gibran, of course, pretty much contributed next to nothing. A measly conclusion that Katie had to edit a ton. She really wants to just kick him out of our group. Or she said she did a while ago, but at that point it was too late, because he would have to do an independent project. But yeah, on Tuesday I spent around 5 hours at the library editing and working on the paper, while Katie was at this theater thing, and then I sent it to her, and she stayed up until around 2 doing her own edits. And that was that.
And then today I had to write a sociology paper, which wasn't bad, but the awful part was that it just took me sooo long to even start it. I hate that.
Hmm what else do I have to do...actually, writing in this was on my list, so this is good. I also should draw another comic.
Oh, and tonight Chris and I ate at Kinsolving, and it was all Thanksgiving themed, and I realized that I really do like Thanksgiving food. Also, today was our last sociology TA session, which was a bit sad, because I love my TA, Pei. She's so cute and Asian! Like legit. She has this really heavy accent, and I love when she mentions her FOB moments, like when she was confused about something because of the culture shock. And today she had someone from out in the hall take a picture of our class. So cute! I mean, some people were like, "Umm...what?" But I thought it was cute.
Oh, and you know what's funny? The other day during lab, Katie (who I believe I have mentioned before, because she is a bit controlling and extremely intense- I mean, a nice person, but woah) asked if I wanted to be her roommate next year. Because a couple of weeks ago, she mentioned how she applied to be an RA and that she needs a roommate, and was like "If you're interested..." and I was like okay....Except this time, she was more assertive like, "Do you want to be my roommate?" And I was a bit flattered like wow she really wants me to be her roommate, so I was kind of like, "Maybe...but don't you want to stay around this area?" because she lives in the Kinsolving area, and I really want to stay at Moore-Hill. My exact room actually. I really love it. And then Katie said that if I told her why Moore-Hill was so awesome, she would seriously consider it. So yeah, I was complaining to Joy about it, and then Joy was talking about how I could live with her if I decide that I want to live an apartment, and I was like yay! Because I love living with Joy. She's an awesome roommate. So yeah, I don't know, I'll have to decide what I want to do.
Okay, well, update done. Time to peruse webcomics.

So, I'm at the Union sitting in the comfy chairs, and it's nice because not a lot of people are here. I've never been over here during this time. I was originally planning to sit here and analyze data for our research project, because apparently we're meeting tomorrow morning to work on our paper, which completely sucks. I need to figure out how to do the statistics on that.
But anyway, so I was going to analyze data, but then these two adults came and sat near me, and they're talking in Spanish, and I just love how it sounds. It's pretty calm and laid back, and it's kind of soothing to hear. I'm kind of eavesdropping to see if I can understand it, and I do actually get some of it. I mean, I didn't take 5 years of Spanish for nothing. But yeah, it's been a while.
Seriously, it totally reminds me of the listening sections we had to do for AP Spanish. The older guy has a kind of gravelly voice that totally reminds me of one of the guys on those tapes.
It really is pretty enjoyable to listen to.
I wish I was fluent. I wish I was fluent in something. Darn my parents for not teaching me Tagalog. Hmmph.
Ha, the other day Joy thought it was funny when I said, "Hmmph," because she thought she was the only one who said that. Like people get confused when she texts it to them. But I was like, I do it all the time!
Okay, time to analyze pictures of E. coli! I do have to say though, I'm just really glad our experiment worked. I know this one group who did an experiment with sea urchins and all of them died. And then another guy was working with crawfish, and the bigger male ate the two smaller females. It even had other food! It just preferred to eat the other crawfish. How gruesome.

Listen to the Andrew Bird song on the left under my mp3 thing! It's good.

Ha, so after writing that title that just reminded me today of how my chem professor was like, "Internal energy is the bomb." And then Travis, one of our TAs, starts laughing like crazy because it's such a good pun. Supposedly. And Laude (my chem professor) proceeds to ask the class if any of us know why it's such a good pun, and when no one raises their hand he says, "Good, because that would be sad." I think? Or maybe it was more along the lines of not having a life if we knew the reason for that. Whatever.
Anyway, real reason for the title was this: http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm, Conan O'Brien's commencement speech for the Harvard class of 2000. It's funny stuff. Conan is hilarious. Seriously.
So, I'm feeling pretty good right now because I got to watch Barefoot Contessa, Ace of Cakes, Conan O'Brien, and "If I Ever Feel Better" by Phoenix was the very first song that came on shuffle. And it's cold. And wow, I forgot how beautiful the second movement of Barber's violin concerto is. That just came on right now. Oh, also feeling good because I just drew comics, woohoo! And now I'm caught up. And back in the mood for drawing comics! Because these last two weeks I've been very sluggish about it. A bit of writer's block, but for comics? Yeah. Anyway, I'll post the new ones here once they get published. I don't know, I have this thing where I only want to post them after being in the newspaper, like getting them published assures me that they're acceptable, therefore I can put them up here. Ah oh well, I'll post the first one anyway. Kudos to Kristen for giving me the idea. Or at least witnessing one of the most amusing conversations I have ever heard of (possibly an exaggeration, but it's definitely up there).



My first three panel comic! Actually, the first version of this was a four panel, but after sending it, CC suggested that I get rid of the fourth one, because it was unnecessary. And it was, so I did. I shouldn't restrict myself so much to a four panel structure. It's so hard not to though, ha.
Mm two notable things. While in the engineering building earlier today I found it amusing to pass by a group of guys in business suits surrounding a table. It looked like they were scrapbooking? Really, there was a bunch of colored construction paper, and even those scissors that cut all squiggly. And other random scrapbook type of things. And I know that there's a legitimate reason for it, but it just looked so funny. Like this guy in a suit and tie looking all serious and cutting yellow construction paper like for project you would do in 3rd grade. You know?
Oh, and tonight was the Regina Spektor concert in Dallas (she was here last night actually), and Christine called me when "Eet" and "Us" were being performed, and it made me so very happy. It sounded amazing! Like it's crazy that it was live, because it sounded perfect. That must have been such a good concert.
Ha, so my iTunes is still on shuffle, and a song by The Kinks came on that I wasn't familiar with, but I like it, and I really need to listen more of The Kinks, because it's good stuff.
Okay, now on to do more productive things.

It's been a while since I've listened to that song.
I have this awkward period of time in between my sociology and calculus discussions on Thursday that usually result in me just sitting in the engineering building for about 25 minutes. I mean, in this area of campus, there's nowhere I can really waste time before 5:00. If I was by the drag or even Jester, I could find something to do. But not this time.
Ah well, I can do this! Ha. And there are a few random things to note.
First of all, the other day on the way to calculus discussion I passed by my old TA, the one I had when I was still in 408C (which is actually difficult), and he was just as cute as I remembered! I loved that TA, and I am still a bit sad that I don't have him anymore. He's like all math nerdy, and I love it. Hmm oh, and Eric who is in my FIG today, who I am in love with by the way, except not really- I think I'll turn this into a paragraph about random guys who I am in love with, because that seems to happen often- the good thing is it's only the joking kind, I am quite serious when it comes to the real thing- but anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, Eric. Well, he's kind of awesome. And into environmental science, ha. But yeah, today in bio discussion, Kevin, our TA, asked Eric a question, and Eric didn't really know and was like, "42" and kind of smiled (very cute smile by the way), and I laughed, but no one else did really because they didn't get it, and Eric looked my way, and I want to be friends with him, because he's a cool guy. And apparently he's going to be in the vertebrate interactome mapping stream too! So yay, hopefully I'll get to know him a bit more.
Okay, and so in basketball band there's this one trumpet guy named Ian, and have I mentioned him before? Because I am in love with him, he's so awesome. First of all, he's a beast at the trumpet. Also, this stems from last summer actually, because he was one of the counselors at UT band camp, and he was awesome, and the guys in his group kept making up songs with his name in it? I have no idea why, but it was pretty amusing to hear them sing the song "My Girl" but with "Ian" in it, as in "I've got Ian...on a cloudy day," etc. And he played Clair de Lune on the piano in Jester! I remember that. And did I mention that he's a beast at trumpet? Like seriously, he's amazing. And from where I sit in basketball band, I can just look back, and I have a perfect view of him. Not creepy.... But yeah, I love that guy.
You know, I noticed that I really love guys with cute smiles. Like I'll think a guy is okay, but if he's got that kind of smile that makes me like...I don't know. Well, you get it. It's just very nice.
Chris has kind of messed up teeth and therefore has a somewhat unfortunate looking smile. In spite of that, I just like when he smiles, because he looks happy.
So we went to this sandwich place last night, at like 1 o'clock actually, ha. Well, we were at my room, and I was drawing a comic and he was doing calculus, and then we both got hungry, so we walked over to this place called Jimmy John's, and I liked it, except for it's a bit far away. They play good music there, and Chris said that's part of why he liked it, and I agreed. Two more things I like about Chris, first of all, he recognizes if Arcade Fire is playing. This might not seem too significant, like really, but...compared to Michael it is, hahaha. And secondly, a song came on that was obviously Ben Gibbard, and I was trying to figure out what Ben Gibbard project, because he has several things going on, and Chris mentioned how when we're older Ben Gibbard will be one of those important oldies voices, just because he has such a distinct voice. And I never really thought about that, but it makes sense.
Oh, and another thing, I like the things he suggests for us to do. Like I mentioned how I love anything Christmas, and a bit later that night he suggested this Christmas thing that goes on at San Marcos early in December that he went to when he was younger, before he lived in El Paso, and he thought I would like it. Oh, and he mentioned how on Wednesday nights at the top of RLM (the ugliest building on campus, but it's pretty tall) the astronomy department is hosting public viewings, because there's a telescope up there. And I was really excited, because astronomy is awesome. So that would be fun.
Okay, now it's finally time for me to go to calculus. Good timing too, I don't think I have much else to discuss. Except yay, it's Kelly's birthday! Yep.

Woah, this is my 50th entry? Weird.

Claudine Lucena is tired and having a very off week. It's very troublesome and slightly awful, and she wishes it would stop. Things to do, couldn't bring myself to do them last night. Just wanted to sit and sleep. Couldn't do it. Didn't check calendar, and didn't do ESI extra credit for a class I have been steadily slacking off in. Cannot lead to good results. Can't even pay attention in sociology it seems.
I hate going to the library and having people glare at me just for walking by. Well, they look up. I whisper something and then they glare. The collaborative floor is too loud. The 4th floor is dead silent. I like settling at that one table in the middle of the shelves on the 3rd floor. Went there again Monday night, and it was nice. I actually got work done.
Yesterday was better than Monday. Monday was the most 'off' day, but I'm getting the feeling that it's just an off week. I really despise those.
Chris read my last post. Ha. I forgot that he pays attention to me when I talk. A bit too attentive. Missed me on Sunday, wanted to hear my 'voice,' so opted to read my writing in what he thought was a public blog. Well, it is. I don't have it on private just because I assumed only the people who I wanted to read it would know about it. Apparently I checked it once when Chris was around, and he just typed in 'incoherent jargon' (he also made the connection with how it's the title of my comic), and there it was. Ironically, the very first post was the one post in which I really talked about him. How embarrassing. He just kept mentioning how he thinks I'm a good writer. And I'm like yes…but what about what I said? And he was okay with it. And now we joke about it. But I also made sure he wouldn't read this again. And I don't think he will. But if gets really curious again, I don't think I care if he reads it. At least now he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Which is a bit fair, because he's the opposite. I'm very secretive, and he just says whatever. It's nice, because I don't have to figure him out. He just tells me.
Hmm. People just laughed at something my professor just said. I should pay attention.
Speaking of explosions (my professor just mentioned them), my chem professor likes exploding hydrogen balloons. It's kind of funny. And loud. He always seems really nonchalant about experiments that appear to be very dangerous. It always makes me nervous.
Why do I always feel like writing when I should be paying attention/actually doing something productive? Last night I wasn't doing anything, but wanted to update this thing, but I couldn't get myself to write.
I need to draw a comic. Or two. Oh! And the Daily Texan printed my latest comic. I was pleasantly surprised that they used it, because it's not very funny.



Personally, I am very OCD when it comes to pens. If I've been using the same one for a while, it's the only one I can use until it dies completely. And when it does, I want exactly the same one. If I have a specific pen for something, like an agenda or writing to-do lists- I have to use that same one every time.
My sociology professor pronounces E. coli like "E-call-i." Like as opposed to "E-coal-i", you know? Sounds odd.
You know, it really is funny that Chris just looked up my blog like that. I could tell Michael several times to go read my blog, and he wouldn't remember the title- and then Chris just randomly decides to look it up, and I don't even remember ever telling him about it.
Vigorito said we would have to do a breaching experiment and write a paper on it. Not looking forward to that. Just because I know I'll feel so incredibly uncomfortable. I really try to avoid awkward social situations if I can help it, just because they tend to come up often anyway, just because I am an awkward person by nature. And a breaching experiment (in sociology) basically means breaching social structure and making people aware of these social constructions that they have taken for granted. Like these people who pretended they were homeless and went up to people offering them money, and people would just say "no thank you" without even thinking. And other such things where people point out the ridiculousness of some social constructions that surround us every day. A bit on breaching experiments: http://nortonbooks.typepad.com/everydaysociology/2007/11/grocery-shoppin.html.

Okay, so now it's way later, and I am no longer in sociology, I am in my dorm. What is there to talk about? Hmm. I don't know. Chris is here. But his mother called, so he's on the phone with her, so I'm trying to occupy my time. I could read sociology, but I feel more like output than input. For some reason I just thought of London. I don't know why, how random is that? Chris is bad at spelling. I was a spelling bee champ way back when. I wonder how much his mother calls. I told Christine that I had a boyfriend. She was like, "What?!" and "How did this happen?" and was also mad at me , because I had told Michael before telling her. And she was very inquisitive, and that was very expected.
I saw a raccoon earlier climbing up and down the tree outside of my dorm.
Chris has an uneven ribcage. It's a bit odd.
I went and got things from CVS today, like nuttier butters for Joy, and I stuck them in the freezer because she likes to eat them that way, and she has other funny food habits such as dipping chocolate chip cookies in orange juice or even ores in orange juice, and this basically stems from her lactose intolerance, so no milk, so why not orange juice? Which is a bit odd, and apparently she didn't think it was odd until she was listing them out for me. And then also she eats grape jelly with her scrambled eggs, and really all I want to know is how did she even come up with these combinations, it's very funny. But what was my point? Oh, well I got the stuff for Joy in the first place, because she had a bio test today, and on Monday when I had a bio test she had made me a card that said "Good luck!" and she drew the tower kind of mirroring the thing I drew for her when I wanted to cheer her up, and it was cute, and I actually saw it after my bio test, but I very much appreciated the thought. Oh, and beside the card was a bunch of candy as well.
So yeah. I just got tired randomly.
Oh! Today I was riding the bus and listening to my ipod, and then I looked out the window and saw another bus that was turning, and the turn signal fit perfectly with what I was listening to, which was "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service, and it was a beautiful thing. Right now I'm listening to "Sweet Disposition" and it makes me happy, because it's been a while since I've listened to the song, and it's good stuff. Earlier I swept and dusted, and it made me happy to clean and listen to music loudly at the same time, although I hope I didn't disturb anyone, but whatever they can deal with it. Actually no, that is not the mindset I really want to have towards it, but I think I'm just tired and I can't think really clearly, I'm just listening to the song, and I realized earlier when I was sitting in the comfy chairs at the Union, that I can't listen to this song (on my ipod at least) while sitting down, it's definitely a walking song, and when it came on I was listening to it at first just because I like it, but then I felt like getting up and walking just because of the pace of it really fits walking. So it seemed inappropriate for the moment.
Oh, the Regina Spektor concert is tonight. She'll be in Dallas tomorrow. Christine keeps going to concerts and it's not fair, because I'm in Austin, but I haven't seen anything and she ditched me and was the reason why I couldn't go to ACL, which was a major bummer, and I wish I had a car so I could get off campus more often, at least Kayla knows the bus system well.

(Added in after writing this entry and re-reading it) I noticed that when I'm in a hurry about things I sound less intelligent. Everything's all over the place, and I just sound stupid. So, I apologize in advance.

Well, I want to catch up on things and write about the weekend, but I do have a ton to do so I'll try to be quick about things.
So, on Friday I was proud of myself because I did all my laundry, and was done around 6, so that was good. Because I've been putting off my laundry for a while, so I was glad to get that out of the way. I have so many clothes! It's crazy. But anyway, went and met Max for sushi happy hour, except I was a bit late, so no happy hour...but still sushi. So that was good. And then went over to Chris's dorm while he was finishing up laundry, and then went to wait for the bus to go downtown. Unfortunately, when the bus finally came, it kind of just passed by us...which sucked. And was really annoying. So we just walked over to 6th street, which actually was not that bad. And I'm getting more used to the holding hand things, although I'm still really conscious of it when people are around. And then so we got to the Alamo Drafthouse just in time, so that was good. We watched that Michael Jackson thing, because there were only 2 movies showing, and I ordinarily would not have watched it, but the whole thing with Alamo Drafthouse is that they give you food and stuff. I want to go back at some point, probably more around dinner time, and order more stuff. This time it was a bit later, so we just got chips and queso. Which was still pretty good. But yeah, the Michael Jackson movie was actually really interesting, and it made me sad, because it looked like it would've been one of the best concerts ever. It was so good! And it reminded me of my mom, because she loves Michael Jackson.
And then Saturday night, some of Chris's friends came in from El Paso, and it was kind of funny hanging out with Mexicans. But they didn't talk to me much. So yeah. And they wanted to go to this hookah place, but the guy kept giving them crap, so we just left. And I was okay with that. And they were talking about going to a strip club for fun, but Chris asked them if they could just drop us off at the campus, and I was glad. It's really weird, because Chris is from such a different background. His school is uber ghetto, all his friends are Hispanic. I'm from the bubble, my friends are all white or Asian. And he said he never really had any nerds in El Paso to relate to. They're all just really laid back (to the point of aimlessness) or party people. And I told him that all my friends are nerds, and I love it. I don't know, it's just so weird. It's like two completely different cultures, you know? So we tend to talk about that a lot. Because it's interesting. And middle class white culture intrigues him, haha. And Asian culture, for that matter. But yeah, it was nice, because after Chris's friends dropped us off, we just kind of walked around and talked a lot. Which was cool. He said that part of what he likes about me is that I have goals, and that I'm smart. Because that's also why he really wanted to get out of El Paso, and why he loves it so much at UT Austin, because to him, it's a challenge. He likes the fact that he has to work harder, and he likes being around people that are trying to accomplish things. Because everyone he knew in El Paso was just really chill and not so concerned about the future. I mean, he was valedictorian at his school, and when I said 'wow that's cool,' he was just like, 'well it wasn't very hard.' And I mean, I already knew about schools like that. Because we would always talk about that in high school, like if we moved somewhere else, we would be first in our class. And being here totally supports that theory. Because I keep meeting people who are frustrated because they were really smart in high school but are struggling here. At least Chris likes the challenge. I found that interesting.
But yeah. I like the kid. Honestly, the more I hang out with him, the more I like him. What concerns me is how much he likes me, because I'm going to feel bad if it ends up that I don't feel the same way. Because I'm still trying to figure things out. I mean...whenever I'm with him, he always compliments me. He actually apologized for it last night and asked if it was getting annoying. And I said it wasn't, as long as he wasn't exaggerating, and as long as he really meant it. Because I don't want to hear it unless he really means it. But it's weird, because he really does mean it, and I just don't agree lol. So, Chris is half Hispanic (he looks pretty white though), and so I'm pretty sure he's kind of embedded in Hispanic culture. So he kind of exhibits the traits of a Hispanic boyfriend...you know, like being really 'effusive.' That's how he described it, ha. But I told him I didn't mind. But okay, here's the thing, so we've been together for two weeks now, and he told me last night that he loved me, and in my head I'm like, argh too soon. Especially since I don't feel the same way yet. Because it's been two weeks! And he actually apologized, he was like, "Oh..that was too soon." But I told him I was okay with it if he really meant it. I told him though that I was sorry, because I couldn't say the same thing yet. And he understood, so that was good. But I wasn't even too surprised, because I've been getting that vibe from him. Like...he thinks I'm perfect. And he always mentions how he's never known anyone who has all these things...like, he's known smart people, or pretty people, or people he can talk to, or whatever- but for him, I'm the first person he's ever met that exhibits all of these things. And I asked about why he broke up with his last girlfriend (because I was really curious), and he said it was because he couldn't see a future with her. She just didn't want the same things. And he said he could see a future with me. And that being with me makes him feel like everything's going to be alright.
And really I'm just thinking...two weeks. But the good thing is that I can tell him these things. I just realized that I don't really hide anything from him, I just tell him straight up what I'm thinking. Like I ask if he's going to get tired of this, or what's going to happen when he figures out that I'm not perfect. And he just says that he worries that I'm going to figure out that he's not good enough for me. But...I already kind of think that. Not in the way that I think I'm better than him...just that he's not really what I was looking for. I think I'm exactly what he's looking for. But I don't know. I guess I don't know what I'm looking for anyway. I mean, I like that I can talk to him for a long time and never get tired of it. And how analytical he is about things. And that I can talk about movies and bands, and he knows what I'm talking about. And sometimes he knows more than I do. We even argue about some of it, haha. Which is fun, just because first of all, he knows what I'm talking about! He doesn't ordinarily like philosophy and literature, and said he gets on his sister's case about that stuff, because she's a genius at that, while he's more math and science (hence, engineer). But then when I say that I love liberal arts, he says that he'll try to get more into it. Which is cute. And I like that he's conscious of his goals and likes challenging himself.
I don't know, I'm just kind of confused. Because there are a lot of things I like about him. I'm just trying to sort it out though. Because I'm not used to having a guy like me first. I usually become friends with a guy and then start liking them, and they never really like me back. But with Chris..he liked me first. So since I'm still in the figuring out stage, I'm not sure of things. I'm just kind of reassured by the fact that the more time I spend with him, the more I like him. I'm also kind of concerned about our polar opposite backgrounds. But...that's part of why I like him? Because we talk about that, and we both find it interesting how in spite of that, we kind of have similar thought processes about things.
The other day I was on the phone with Michael, and he said something along the lines of, "Like...does he know how weird you are?" And actually I think Chris does. And I think he even likes it? I don't know. I mean, he's weird too.
In retrospect, I think I should've told Chris that I don't think he should say he loves me just yet. Because even though he does mean it, in his own way, I don't think he understands it really. I mean, he barely knows me, right? Like...he knows a lot about me, because we've talked so much. But you learn a lot more just spending time with a person. And I don't think two weeks is enough. I also think it's a Hispanic thing to kind of rush into that. But I'm kind of okay with how it happened. Because we had been talking, and so we were just sitting in silence for a bit, and he said it. And I'm much better with him saying it then, as opposed to like...in the middle of making out or something, when it wouldn't seem so meaningful. You know what I mean? He also said it before he left.
I guess one good indication my feelings is that I never want him to leave, ha. Like, if there are people around, I'm so incredibly freaked out about PDA, that I'm like uh okay bye. But when it's just us...I don't want him to leave. And last night, he was like, "See you tomorrow?" And I told him no, since I have to study for a biology test. And he was like, "Oh..well, that's probably good. Because I have to write a paper." And I said yes, we shouldn't probably see each other (today) because we have goals, remember? And of course, I got him there, because that's part of what he likes about me, and he can't deny it.
So yeah, that was Saturday. I just realized, have I ever mentioned the PDA thing in here before? I don't think so, because I've been avoiding mentioning much about Chris, just because I feel funny writing about it. But yeah, I figured out that I am freakishly opposed to PDA. Which sucks for a boy who is used to Hispanic culture, which is pretty chill about PDA (Dianna and I joke about this often-- I'm crazy conscious about PDA, and Dianna isn't at all, haha). But I think Chris just thinks it's funny. Or at least, whenever I literally push him away when people are around, he says I'm funny. And lately he's just been doing it to annoy me, which is kind of cute in its own way. Speaking of which, he's always mentioning how time just seems to pass by quickly when he's with me. Which I noticed as well. Like seriously, his friends dropped us off around 10, and we just talked and wandered around until 2 in the morning. Woah, wait that can't be right....but I think it is? Wow, that's even longer than I thought, what the heck, haha.
Okay, going on. Well today was Aurora's birthday (she's Filipino and lives two doors down from me), and we went out to lunch with film major Kayla and Filipino Kayla, and that was nice. It was a pretty nice place we went to, really good food. And then we went to the Museum of the Weird, which was pretty well...weird. And it was raining today, which kind of sucked. But it was nice just being downtown. I love getting off campus and being in the city. And then we went over to this store called 'All About Music,' and I was just soo happy because, I was like ahh I love this place. Because it was all of those little music related random things in one big store. And it was kind of awesome. I really wanted the bassoon christmas tree ornament (which they also sell at Mr. E's, but it's more expensive there). In general, I just really enjoyed the assortment of essentially useless music related stuff. I kind of wanted to buy the whole store. Film major Kayla was really excited about the ukelele lamp, and after waving me over twice to check out things she thought I would love (and did), she realized that she could probably just do that over and over again in this particular store, haha. There was also a cat named Quincy! So cute. And then we took a bus back to campus.
So yeah, now I'm in my room, and I need to draw a comic, study for biology, and do calculus. Fun stuff! Blegh.
Oh, and one more thing to note, especially because the 500 Days of Summer soundtrack just came up on my ipod, well, when I was talking to Chris about things, he said how he doesn't think there is an actual timeframe for things...like it goes case by case. Like how Summer broke up with Tom and met this other guy and things just progressed so much more because she was sure of with this guy what she wasn't sure of with Tom. And I could see what he meant, because that made sense. It also makes the end of that movie seem more real to me. Because I couldn't really see it before, I mean come on, she just got married like that? But when Chris talked about it...I could see it. Because when he tells me about how things were with his ex-girlfriend (don't worry, I asked about it- he doesn't just talk about it a ton or something...that'd be weird), I can just see why he likes me so much. And I can tell that he means what he says.
It's just weird, because I didn't really expect this at all. Ah well. Study time.

(Added in at 10:18 pm, after thinking of more things to gush about) Three things to note. When I mentioned to Chris about how I'm not perfect, he did tell me one thing he didn't like: my lips chap really easily. And I noticed that too (it always got really annoying whenever I would practice bassoon a lot), so I'm really conscious of it all the time now, and I joke about it with him, ha. But he says he likes it...just because it proves to him that I'm human and I have a flaw, lol. Also, when we were walking around 6th street on Friday (we both like just walking around and watching the drunk people- we don't necessarily have to go in anywhere), he saw this guy selling flowers and asked if I wanted one. And I said no, I'm good, and he asked if I was sure, and I just told him I wouldn't know what to do with it. And he was like, but you're a bio major! you of all people should know what to do with it, and on and on about that. He tends to do that. It's so nerdy, lol. It's cute. Like...how I mentioned how I like how analytical he is. Like seriously, he really analyzes the structures of things. Not even just buildings, just anything. Perfect that he's an architectural engineer. I like how he notices details and is able to be critical about them.
I also like how he takes an interest in things I like, even though it's not really his thing. Like I talked about how exciting seeing the symphony is for me, and he said he would really like to see that. And legitimately looked excited about it.
I kind of miss him right now. Ha. Which I kind of hate admitting, because I liked being more in control before, when I knew he liked me a lot more than I liked him. I mean, obviously, it's still like that, if he "loves" me, but now...I really like him too. Because I preferred it when he was the one that would text me. I guess I don't like being the one to show affection. But the good thing is that when I do, he really seems to appreciate it, ha. Hmm.